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The Formula For Happiness

The formula of happiness with our horse is:

  • Life conditions = Blueprint

But when we’re not happy, it means that our actual life conditions doesn’t match our belief about how things should be.

So there’s a gap between where we are with our horse and where we want to be.

And this could cause impatience or discomfort.

It might even create some pain, stress, or frustration.

Now in this situation, we have three choices:

  1. Start blaming
  2. Change your blueprint
  3. Change your conditions

1. Start Blaming

We could start blaming something or someone for our discomfort:

  • Our busy work
  • Our lack of time
  • Other life circumstances
  • Our horse’s past with the former owner
  • His conformation
  • The method we are following (“This just doesn’t work!”)
  • Our instructor
  • Our age
  • Ourself (beating ourselves up)

For sure, we’ll find an excuse why we cannot have what we want.

We’ll make up a story why we cannot have it.

We can be a “whiny little bitch” about our gap.

But….. it doesn’t close the gap.

So another option is:

2. Change Your Blueprint

To eliminate the feeling of unhappiness or suffering, we can start to change our ‘blueprint’.

We can start to change the way we think things should be.

To have it match the actual reality that we have with our horse right now.

To do this, we can start by asking yourself:

  • “Why do I want to reach this goal?”
  • “Why do I want this outcome?”
  • “Why do I want to be able to do the piaffe?”
  • “Why do I want to do ST at liberty?”
  • “Why do I want to get to the level of Grade 2 in ST?”

These questions open up the reason why we want it.

And this might change our perception of what we want.

It might give things another meaning.

It might shift us to the ‘green’ level of consciousness, where we can be a human ‘being’, rather than a human ‘doing’.

This way, we can start to embrace and accept the current and real-life situation fully.

And with that, the gap closes.

But if we don’t want to settle for less

There’s also a third option:

3. Change Your Conditions

The third option is to change our conditions and approach in order to get what you want.

In this option, we stop blaming!

We stop looking for an excuse!

We stop making up a story why you cannot have it!

We just start searching for an effective execution:

We change our approach!

Therefore, if you don’t get what you want…

Change your approach!

If it’s still not what you want…

Change your approach!

When we keep changing our approach…

We’ll find a way!

How long do you give an average child the time to learn to walk, until you say:

“Just stop, you’re not a walker!” ?

Well, if you’re his mum, you’ll say:

“Are you crazy? 

My kid is going to KEEP TRYING until he walks 🚶!”….

So if you try something and it doesn’t work, what are you going to do?

Try something else!

And if that doesn’t work, what are you going to do?

Try something else!

What if that doesn’t work?

Change your approach!

How many times are you going to change?

Until you find the way and get what you want!

So here it is:

The Magic Trick!

Which is:

  • Change your approach until you get what you want!

However, when we are getting older, we forget about this:

  • We settle when things don’t turn out the way they want it with their horse (option 2).
  • Or we start to find an excuse and make up a story why they cannot have it (option 1).

But not you!

You keep trying until you found a way to close the gap.

You keep changing your approach!

Until you get what you want!

That’s just simple science of achieving mastery.

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